Under the Influence

Of hormones?  Maybe.

Actually, scratch that.  I'm heavily under the influence of hormones and yes you needed to know that.  You voided your right to say "TMI" when you clicked on reading my blog.  Apologies.  ~chuckles~

I'm tired and cranky and DAMMIT I WANT A SMOKE.

"My heart's a stereo, it beats for you so listen close....."

Something I've been struggling with lately, but adjusting to, is the what other people think.  Of me.  Of what I do.  Of what makes me happy.

Does what makes me happy, really bother people that much, that they'd shun me for it?  Especially when it doesn't concern them?  It's something I think about.  If what makes me happy, doesn't hurt anyone, then why the HELL does it matter?

Sometimes I think, if people would keep their nose in their own business, maybe things would be better for them, rather than worrying about what I'm doing all the time.  There isn't anything in particular at the moment that's a huge concern, but I tend to let my thoughts jump to the future and I worry.  I'm trying to change that.

I spend so much time worrying about what makes other happy and doing what THEY think I should be doing, and in doing so, have made myself miserable.  I should just do what I want to do and what *I* think is best.

It is my life after all.  Who gives a fuck what someone else thinks, right?  I've got to live it how I see fit.  It's not like I do drugs, drink excessively or gamble away my money.  I take care of my kids as best I can, work my ass off to pay the bills and try to treat others how I wish to be treated.  Letting me have what I want once in awhile isn't really too much to ask.

Is it?

Yasu <3333